Oops...

There was a "boat bash" at our little marina. Nomad wasn't involved, fortunately, though that is of no solace to those that were. The details will be a bit vague, partly due to the original telling being a bit vague, and because everyone involved is a friend.

But some stories are just too good to pass up...

So it came to pass last week that a night fell with a perfect breeze, calling the few assembled to an early season moonlight sail. Vastly experienced and sailing one of the better boats on the lake a crew of 5 headed past the breakwater for what was later described as a perfect romp. Two of the 5 were enjoying a most blusterous evening, those two being Captain Morgan and First Mate Tequila. Rumor has it Captain Morgan was at the helm when the boat approached her pier a few hours after heading out, though at least one of the crew claims that the first mate should get most of the blame. In any case the good Captain's ability to discern speed, space and direction was a bit out of calibration. The boat, supplying all of the muscle but being devoid of any brains, came hurtling down between the docks at what ever speed she could muster at the selected 2200 rpm, something close to 5 knots. At such velocity, at night, and through a fog of 100 proof, a successful docking was a long shot.

An untimely helm hard to starboard and a way too late call for full reverse resulted in the boat being aimed at the wrong side of her home pier. A trim little Catalina sat in that space, minding her own business and properly tied bow, spring and stern. The aft line caught the full onslaught of the out of control boat but held fast. Lurching sideways under the blow the Catalina pinned the marauder's still fast-moving bow hard against a corner of the concrete floating dock. When the debris settled said bow sported nearly 2 feet of gash opened clean into the V-birth. Skewered by the errant boat's bow sprit, the aft stanchion of the Catalina's stern pulpit had been torn out of the fiberglass with tubing folded over into the cockpit. Though the smaller and lighter of the two boats, the Catalina had defended herself well. At least she didn't have a hole punched all the way through her hull.

Though I hope to get Nomad in the water this week, I'm kind of glad she was up on the hard. The boat in question had passed right by her slip, the crunch occurring just a few finger piers from ours. I might have been a tad miffed had Nomad had her stern pulpit ripped free, though when it was all said and done only fiberglass got damaged. And that's what insurance is for.

As for the contribution of Captain Morgan and First Mate Tequila, I'm a bit ambivalent. I'm not much of a drinker myself, (getting too old to pay the dues in the morning). And I certainly can't advocate crashing boats. But...

I tire of the button down, Victorian, everyone marching to the drum of utter responsibility, take no chances, don't do anything stupid, world I live in. Most of us carry a few battle scars from stupid, its part of what makes us human. And in our world right now, somehow "responsible" leads to wars, Wall Street shenanigans, hatred, intolerance, oppression, tyranny, and religious lunacy. Maybe a few happy drunks wrinkling up some fiberglass isn't the worst thing that can happen in a week?

And sometimes I think its better to be in a story then it is to just watch one. If it happens to be a politically incorrect story, well, maybe, that's not always so bad either. After all, when was the last time you had such a rip-snorting time that you went for a night sail, got a snoot full, completely missed your pier, and bashed a hole in the side of your boat? Embarrassing sure, but what's your best story from last week, watching a re-run of "Dancing with the Stars?"

Though 800 rpm might have worked a little better...